Wednesday 29 October 2008

Catching up

Yesterday I went onto Classmates.com for this first time in ages and came across a guy I had not heard from for many years. His name is Rick Rogers and I stayed with his family in Waverly Nebraska when I was a foreign exchange student at the High School there in 1971.

It was great to hear from him again. Now a pop-up has appeared inviting me to look at Friends Reunited. So I might just do that, as long as I don't have to part with any money.

This year has seen me revisit old haunts: Epping in Essex where we lived from 1979 to 1982, and Broad Oak-Brede Sussex where we lived from 1978/79.

It was great to hear from Rick again, although he now lives in one of the Carolinas. It brought back many happy memories of Waverly.

How am I doing this week? Well, up and down. I have discovered a new benefit which came on-stream on Monday. It is called Employment and Support Allowance. It doesn't pay any more than Job Seekers Allowance but it fast tracks you to someone who can help point you in the right direction for suitable work. It is aimed at people who find it difficult to work because of a long-term illness, injury or disability.

They are sending me the papers to apply. I'll see how it goes.

Wednesday 22 October 2008

Money

After resigning from Lakeland I have been dependent on God for my income, as I had no other way of getting any. So I prayed about it and I think I've got as much in the account now as I did two weeks ago.

God is able to supply all your needs according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.

Now I am looking for something I really feel at home in. Well, that's the title and the theme of this blog - Finding my way Home. Keep following. I'll get there eventually.

Friday 10 October 2008

And the doctor said...

There is no alternative to resignation from the Lakeland job. So I sent in my notice yesterday. I won't be going back. It was making me ill again.

So what now? Well, I am going to make it my aim to apply for one job per week day, either online or by post. There must be something out there I can do.

I am also keeping in touch with the CAB, the Disability Specialist at Kendal Jobcentre Plus and with my counsellor. Most of all, I am keeping in touch with the Lord.

Strangely, in spite of all this trauma, Jesus is more real to me than ever. Even though mental illness hits you right in the centre of your being, Jesus is still there too. That's what the Christian faith is all about.

Some people can't see how you can feel like I do and still be a Christian. But you can.

Thursday 9 October 2008

What a difference a day makes

Yesterday started for me at 2.45 a.m. when I woke up and couldn't get back to sleep. That's a classic sign that the Black Dog of Depression is snapping at your heels. When I did get to sleep the alarm went off and I did not get up. In fact for the next two and a half hours I did not want to get out of bed. That's another sign of depression.

What I decided to do was to get through an hour at a time and this is how each one went:

9.00 - 10.00 Got up, had breakfast, read the Bible, made sandwiches

10.00 - 11.00 Drove to Kendal, found a free parking space and went to Jobcentre Plus

11.00 - 12.00 Signed on for Job Seekers Allowance, made an appointment to see the Disability Officer (who deals with those suffering long term ill health, injury and disability) for 15.20. Went to the Bank to discover that the DWP had given me some money.

12.00 - 13.00 Went to Communion Service at St. Thomas Church Kendal. Short sermon from the Vicar: Know God's love, God's voice and God's plan. He prayed with me afterwards.

13.00 - 14.00
As we were eating soup and rolls in the church cafe my mobile phone rang and the Disability Officer asked me to go in there and then.
We had a long and detailed interview during which she advised me to call in sick at Lakeland and see the doctor as soon as possible. She also helped me to find more suitable jobs to apply for. So I thanked God for His amazing timing and did what she said.

14.00 - 15.00 Went back to the Church and told the caretaker what had happened. He showed me round their newly improved church and then I went home rejoicing.

Tuesday 7 October 2008

Poverty Trap

This road I am following on my journey home is full of potholes. I have fallen into one of them called the Poverty Trap.

To sum this up: it is possible to go from living on benefits to earning a wage and end up worse off. This has happened to me.

When I was not working and being paid Incapacity Benefit I was getting more into my bank account, and less was going out of it, than now that I am working.

This means I keep wondering if it was worth going back to work at all. I don't enjoy it. It doesn't suit me. I have to pay for fuel to travel the 20 miles in order to work four hours at a time for three evenings a week.

But the fact is that I felt God called me to go back to work and I have to be obedient.

These Bible verses have been helpful:

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance." James 1:2

"For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all." 2 Corinthians 4:17

Wednesday 1 October 2008

Back to work (again)

Going back to work last week was not easy. I found I had forgotten some of the training I had been given the week before I left for Hastings. I got into a muddle on my first evening back and had to train again the next evening. Then I worked on Saturday afternoon and things went a lot better because there were not so many people working and I could go at my own pace without pressure.

On Friday I came across the details of an evangelist post on the South Coast. Having just returned from a successful mission there, and the job description fitting my skills, gifts and abilities I sent off for the details which came straight back by email.

The closing date was yesterday, so I started to apply on Saturday before going to Lakeland. On Sunday I went to three services - two at IMC and one at Bentham CofE. In the first, the children's message told us we should use our gifts and talents or they will be taken away, and both the other services included the message "Pray for the workers to go into the Harvest Field". I sent off the application on Monday.

On Monday evening I went with the Shepherds Choir to Kings Meaburn in rural Cumbria. I was leading the meeting and spotted the Methodist Minister, Phil Dew, at the back of the church. So I made up a story about him during the singing and told it during my talk.

To make a longish story short it spun on seeing him fall down and calling it a Dew Drop. Anyway, it worked. People were impressed that I could do that. And I was pleased I could too. I'm more skilled at that than what I'm getting paid for now. That's why I applied for evengelist job.

Watch this space.