Saturday night was the Chapel Party. You can see the youngsters lined up in two rows to go rushing about.I didn't rush about. I tucked into a good tea and then a good talk to a couple of mates, one of whom is going through the same as me, except that he hasn't packed his job in...yet.
Sunday morning I preached at Burton. I walked up and down and shouted as usual. This time it was about "I can do everything through him who gives me strength". I preached as much to myself as to them.
Then I went back to IMC to drink coffee, network and generally chew the rag. I can't bear to be away from the place.
In the afternoon we watched Man U lose to West Ham but parade the silverware. At night I sang my heart out at the Shepherd's Choir. That gets my endorphins going!
TEARS OF A CLOWN
These are the words of my favourite pop song. Because I seem quite happy when in public but feel sad inside at home, they reflect my true feelings at the moment:
Oh yeah yeah yeah
Now if there's a smile on my face
It's only there trying to fool the public
But when it comes down to fooling you
Now honey that's quite a different subject
But don't let my glad expression
Give you the wrong impression
Really I'm sad, oh I'm sadder than sad
You're gone and I'm hurtin' so bad
Like a clown I pretend to be glad
Now there's some sad things known to man
But ain't too much sadder than
The tears of a clown, when there's no one around
Uh hum, oh yeah baby
Now if I appear to be carefree
It's only to camouflage my sadness
And honey to shield my pride I try
To cover this hurt with a show of gladness
But don't let my show convince you
That I've been happy since you
Decided to go, oh I need you so
I'm hurt and I want you to know
But for others I put on a show, ooh yeah
{repeat CHORUS}
Just like Pagliacci did I try to keep my surface hid
Smiling in the public eye
But in my lonely room I cry
The tears of a clown
When there's no one around, oh yeah, baby baby
Now if there's a smile on my face
Don't let my glad expression
Give you the wrong impression
Don't let this smile I wear
Make you think that I don't care
When really I'm sad, I’m hurting so bad.
Just on thing more - who the heck is Pagliacci ?
Monday, 14 May 2007
What I did at the Weekend Part 2
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2 comments:
Hi Pete,
Ii once read a comforting piece of writing from a woman who had been a christian for years,she had her ups and downs but never gave up on God knowing he would never give up on her.She said that there are times to learn and times to evangelise,times to scurry about and times to be quiet but more than anything thete is sometimes a time to simply sit in a chair in the lap of our heavenly Father and let him do everything to comfort us.Maybe God is waiting for you to get into the chair with him Pete.I am so sorry that I didn't know about your depression.I know that God has you firmly under his wing.Stop pretending that you are happy and let a few chosen people into your real world.They won't think bad of you.It's hard to read someone when they are wearing a mask.
Love
Sharon (barley chapel)
Hey Pete,
Just so you know (i think) Pagliacci is an opera not sure what about but hey...
Simon P
imc
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