William Wilberforce

I have just been reading a review of a new book about William Wilberforce by William Hague on the blog of the Exiled Preacher

I made this comment:
"We need another Wilberforce today. I have been reading The Wilberforce Connection by Clifford Hill, published by Monarch in 2004. It gives a great review of the Clapham Sect and its work. If we took the principles and practical work of that group of Christians as an example we too could see good become fashionable again."

We could too. If we used this modern technology, effective campaigning and all the gifts God has given His Church, but particularly the Glorious Gospel, we could see good become fashionable again.

Hey! Guess what! No depression!

Partially blue

Hi guys

Sorry I haven't blogged for a bit but I have been suffering deep BLUES.

For a few weeks I have been taking antidepressants which were first prescribed by a psychiatrist back in August last year. They have been giving me headaches off and on and this last weekend has been abysmal. [Interesting word that, abysmal, the oxford enlish dictionary defines it thus: Of, pertaining to, or resembling an abyss; fathomless; deep-sunken.] This reflects my feelings too.

Nevertheless, here I am blogging again after nearly a month.

What else has happened? Well, by the grace of God, and help from the Inland Revenue and the Ministry of Labour I have got myself out of debt, but into a time warp.

I have read Veronica Zundel's book again and can't praise it enough.

I have also set up a second office in the spare bedroom from where this epistle is being dictated or rather sent out into the ether to see if anyone cares to read it.

Perhaps I was galvanised into action by an article I started to read in Saturday's Telegraph about a blogger who is so popular because she can't stand living in the North of England. I stopped reading because I was so annoyed [and jealous if I'm honest]. You can read it HERE, if you really want to.

I love living in the North. Just look at the side panel and you'll see why.

In the meantime, it's good to be back, but for how long...?

Geoffrey Barnard is unwell

That was a euphemism used for a writer who used to get so drunk he couldn't produce his column. It was turned into a play.

Well, Peter McCabe has been unwell, and not able or willing to blog.

You've guessed it. I was very depressed. I don't know why. Maybe it was because I went back onto some stronger tablets and they gave me physical side effects: bad headache, nausea and light-headedness. Maybe it was because I couldn't think of anything to write about. Maybe it was because I was trying to come to terms with not having any money and owing people money I don't have. Or maybe, and this is getting to the real crux of the matter, I just couldn't be bothered.

Well, I'm back now. I guess the tone is pretty weary, but, hey, that's the way I'm feeling.

Three positives during this time:

1. I really found the Veronica Zundel book "Crying for the Light" helpful and am reading it again.
2. I have started riding a bike. Not only does this save money of fuel but also gives me exercise and gets the good feelings going a bit.
3. Springwatch on BBC2 has been fantastic. To see God's creation in all its majestic and tiny glory has been thrilling. Maybe I'm improving. At least I'm blogging again.
   

Crying for the Light

I've found the book I've been searching for.

It's called "Crying for the Light" and it's by Veronica Zundel. Published by Bible Reading Fellowship it's a snip at £5.99. even if you are living on Incapacity Benefit.

Why? Because it is written for depressed Christians by a Christian who is depressed. I was reading it this morning - part of it is a section with meditations on the Psalms - and I thought "This is talking to me in a language I can understand." Most books on depression don't do that.

This book is saying "It's alright to be a Christian and be depressed." Maybe I don't need to feel ashamed any more. God give me the grace for that.

One year on

I went for a walk with Audrey yesterday and she reminded me that it was a year to the day since I told her I was giving up my job.

What has happened since then? Well, I have started this blog and kept it going, off and on.

I have had lots of counselling, from Lancaster University Counselling Service and the NHS.

I have started a business called Brook House Enterprises and produced three booklets about the lives of people who lived in Ingleton in the Victorian era.

I have also felt miserable a lot of the time and not understood what was going on in me and around me. But at the same time I have been exercising my faith to believe it was for my good and God's glory. Being depressed is hard to come to terms with, especially for a Christian.

This is because a lot of the messages you hear say "Rejoice in the Lord." It's like that silly smile that we used to wear in the 1970s which said "Smile God loves you". I never did like it.



But Audrey took me to Our Father's House in Lancaster on Sunday morning and during the sermon the preacher, Clive Corfield, said "The root of depression could be an orphan spirit." So I was first out for ministry and I am seeking to put into practice what Mark Stibbe says in his book "From orphans to heirs".

It's a long hard road, but I'll get there in the end. One year on, and I'm still not home yet. Why does it take so long?

Making a better pot

I heard an interesting sermon on Sunday. It was about "Roles and Gifts" and that we should not get the two mixed up.

The illlustration that stayed with me was that of a competition to make the best pot. One person made just one good pot, while another made 50 pots and won. Why? Because the person learnt from each pot he/she made how to make a better one.

Yesterday I found this quote:

"The confidence to recover from error is not a personality trait; it is a learned skill."
Richard Sennett, The Craftsman 2008

Internet Evangelism Day

One of the reasons I first started blogging was to use the internet as a way of reaching people for Jesus. I do hope my faith shines through, even in the darkest moments.

One of the things which pushed me blogwards was Internet Evangelism Day. It takes place on the last Sunday of this month (the 27th) and can take as much or as little time in your church service as you want.

Have a look at the link.